Poseidon’s Potluck Catastrophe
When Poseidon showed up to Olympus’ monthly potluck with a 'freshly vent-cooked' seafood platter—still flapping, slightly steaming, and emotionally unavailable—the divine dinner party descended into soggy chaos.
Everyone talks about Zeus cheating or Hades being edgy. But nobody talks about the time Poseidon tried to join a potluck.
See, Poseidon doesn’t “do” small gatherings. He shows up, trident in one hand, vibes in the other—and because he’s extra, he decides to bring a seafood platter. Fresh. Still moving. Technically “cooked” by volcanic vents, but still… a lot.
The other gods were not impressed.
Demeter refused to sit near “the salt guy.”
Aphrodite kept sliding off her chair because the floor was wet.
And Hera? Hera took one look at the shrimp and said, “This feels like a personal attack.”
Then Poseidon made it worse.
He tried to make a joke:
“What’s the difference between a sea monster and my ex? One’s a Kraken.”
Silence.
Awkward, godly silence.
Zeus didn’t even smite him. He just sighed and said, “Bro. Stick to the ocean.”
Highlight: The octopus briefly reanimated during dessert and attempted to file for joint custody of the ambrosia fountain.
Moral of the story: Never invite a sea god to a land party—unless you want your wine to taste like brine and regret. 🌊🍤
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